Imagine a World Without Filipinos – Pinoylife Redux

July 15, 2008 · Posted in Uncategorized 

I swear, sometimes gifts just fall from the internet heavens.

Joel, the Pinoylife admin, got an email forward containing an article titled “Imagine a World Without Filipinos”. It was published in Saudi Arabian news outlet Al-Watan written by Abdullah Al-Maghlooth. If you haven’t seen it yet, it’s a quick read:

Click the image to read the original article

Imagine a World Without Filipinos

The gist of the article is generally positive so props to Abdullah for the kind words. The title does make you think. What would it be like if we got rid of all the Filipinos on the planet? I’m sure there are some racist cocksuckers that would have a month long celebration but this is a hypothetical scenario that will never happen so don’t start making your parade floats just yet. Abdullah Al-Maghlooth pointed out some obvious things such as the negative impact on available nurses, manual labor, nannies, maids, and most importantly how eliminating Filipinos would decrease of the amount of seamen in the world. (Damn right!)

But there are other side effects that Al-Maghlooth didn’t cover. I now present to you my version of the article, “Imagine a World Without Filipinos”.

Consider the following societal side effects if this world did not have Filipinos:

Mexican fight fans would actually have to chant their boxers’ name instead of “ME-HI-CO, ME-HI-CO, ME-HI-CO” as Mexican boxers would have to fight each other since Manny Pacquiao wouldn’t be around for them to lose to. This could lead to further divisions within the Mexican community worse than La Eme vs. Nuestra Familia.

Drug companies would lose millions in revenue as the demand for medication to treat high-blood pressure, hypertension, and diabetes would drop significantly.

Kaba Modern would still exist.

No stage production group would ever be able to put a complete cast together for Miss Saigon. What, you think they’d actually cast a Vietnamese person as the lead?

You would really see how many people are truly Hawaiian on this planet.

The Magic Mic corporation would file for bankruptcy.

The ozone layer might improve since there would be no such thing as Jeepneys.

Not as many people would care about Journey getting a new lead singer.

The art of turntablism wouldn’t be as cool as it is today since the Invisbl Skratch Piklz, Beat Junkies, and countless DJ crews would have never existed.

The menu at Colma Cafe in the Lucky Chances casino would absolutely suck without Filipino food.

Politicians in the United States would not have to come up with ideas of trying to get the Filipino vote. Wait, they don’t do that now! Nevermind. would actually be social networking site focusing on Latinos with Caucasian friends.

Movies such as North Shore, Wayne’s World, and La Bamba would not have been as good without the Filipino American actors that were in them. Then again, films like Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Surf Ninjas, Lumpia the Movie and American Adobo wouldn’t have been made so I guess it’s a wash.

David Pomeranz’s music career would have been over a long time ago.

Navy officers would lose a significant amount of weight since they won’t have any bad ass Pinoy cooks to make their food.

The majority of the early decade’s hip-hop and pop hits would not have existed since Pharrell Williams wouldn’t have had Chad Hugo to form the Neptunes.

Kick ass lumpia, lumpia shanghai and turon would be replaced by the crappy egg rolls from $1 Chinese fast food restaurants.

And finally…

Kraft foods would have to come up with another name for their chocolate coated cookie snack sold in Spain and the Netherlands.

Filipinos, the Snack!

I know you have some thoughts as well. Please add on to this list in the comments section.

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15 Responses to “Imagine a World Without Filipinos – Pinoylife Redux”

  1. tetro on July 15th, 2008 9:07 pm

    The number of Spanish Chinese people will drastically drop.

  2. Valleypinoy on July 15th, 2008 9:59 pm

    Eagle Rock Plaza would have been a bunch of over-priced condos instead of SM Eagle Rock.

  3. Elsongs on July 16th, 2008 1:10 pm

    The area northwest of Downtown L.A. between the 101 and Beverly, along Temple Street, would be known as “Historic Town.”

  4. TheHofSpades on July 16th, 2008 5:11 pm

    The Bees of the world would not be Jolli.

    Chows would be fun, but they wouldn’t be King.

    Downtown Las Vegas wouldn’t exist.

    A lot more oxen would have tails.

    There would be a bunch of crappy Dance crews on America’s Next Best Dance Crew. The winner would literally be the “Next” Best. See what I did there?

  5. Spec_Ops on July 17th, 2008 4:25 pm

    The Population of Northern California would be cut by 75.8% (that’s not a real statistic)

    The Yo-Yo would not be able to “Sleep” that’s right no more walking the dog or rocking the cradle!

    The Colt 1911 would not have been invented, we would be stuck with 9mm pistols, actually no some redneck might have invented it just for the sake of fun!

    Magellan would have made it back to Spain alive!

    The world would not be blesses with Characters such as Lastik Man!

    The pet population would be 100 times worse than it is today!

    Pornography would not exist! That’s right I said it! Filipinos May not have invented it, but Damned if we’re not the Number one Supporters of it!!

    I’ll come up with more later

  6. Joe BagO'Suman on July 23rd, 2008 3:58 pm

    - Some other corrupt despot’s wife would be infamous for a closetful of women’s shoes.

    - The world will be awash in surplus cardboard boxes and aluminum foil.

    - Vanessa Manillo could now safely describe herself as from “Polynesia.”

    - Vic Darchinyan getting his lunch taken and manhood destroyed wouldn’t have been featured on Top 5 KO Lists.

    - UFW may still not be organized.

    - That guy in the suit offering to wash your windows at the gas station may be one of an army of underemployed Immigration attorneys.

    - Many Roman Catholic parishes would drop the last chance masses on Sunday afternoons.


  7. Daps1 on July 25th, 2008 9:10 am

    there’s be so much drama at the LBC

  8. Joe BagO'Suman on July 25th, 2008 1:02 pm

    - The Ewok language would just be generic, little people gibberish.

    - The Duncan family wouldn’t have made untold millions on a tribal hunting weapon.

    - The high stakes world of modern competitive billiards would revert back to a saloon game with wagers.

    - Jason Bourne would have to fight off his adversaries using boxing, savate and fencing.

    - There would be no deadly balisong knife to ban in all 50 US states.

    - Hospitals, medical centers and clinics wouldn’t exist.

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    More people need to read this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant believe you’re not more popular.

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  15. Apolinario San Sebastian on November 25th, 2011 10:36 am

    This article has been posted in many Filipino sites as all glorifying of Filipino workers. On plain sight, yes it speaks of great qualities of Filipinos as “workers” and “laborer”. If these jobs are so great, why is it not possible for the citizens of this nation to do this readily? I know that we take a lot of pride in labor and what this brings to the families back home. But what this article is also doing is defining or typecasting the Filipinos in the world stage. This article in fact limits the considerations that the world will have on Filipinos and our children. So let me ask, what is the dream of OFWs for their children? They work hard to send their kids to school and that their kids will accomplish so much more than their parents did as laborers and workers could do in their lifetimes. If we as a people agree that we will be the blue-collar population of laborers and servants of the world for now and in the future, then this article is probably correct. But if we dream big for our children and our people, to be ship captains or engineers to build tallest buildings; to dream for our children to be the lead physicians and surgeons and medical leaders that will define the future of health care; to hope that our children will master trade and industry to drive world commerce; and be scientist and innovators that will redefine how humanity will live in the future – if we dream big and bold, we really need to see and understand the message of this article and let our people know of it.

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